Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Who died my cat blue again?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
