Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
