just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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