Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
