do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
