Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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