Kiss
Puke
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
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I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
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I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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