I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize