Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Randomize
