The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
honey bunches of taint.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
