just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
