alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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