i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
