I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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