i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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