im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize