I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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