True but thats because hes a fetus.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize