Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
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I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
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The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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