I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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