My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
