Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
