well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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