he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
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I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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