think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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