i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
