is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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