Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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