Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
