I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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