Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize