i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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