you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Randomize
