I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Come see our sink grown plant.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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