What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.