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• (517): View more from Michigan

  6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.

  Fav 2 1436 694

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• (721): View more from

  That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  omg, i know.

  (721): View more from

  we're too high.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.

  Fav 6 1565 2587

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• (714): View more from California

  im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me

  Fav 8 3745 988

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• 

  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?

  Fav 14 3162 1223

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• (361): View more from Texas

  After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.

  Fav 14 5380 1670

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.

  Fav 3 1105 1993

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out

  Fav 2 686 527

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.

  Fav 5 756 506

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old

  Fav 6 67 14

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