Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now

  (810): View more from Michigan

  But I don't think guys love me

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  (810): Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now (810): But I don't think guys love me http://tfl.nu/t9jt
  Replies (3) Good night (678) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.

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  (858): Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo. http://tfl.nu/gbo1
  Replies (44) Good night (2313) Bad night (5215)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.

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  (619): our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work. http://tfl.nu/tk9m
  Replies (5) Good night (3873) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.

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  (630): the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever. http://tfl.nu/uuz9
  Replies (9) Good night (5912) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.

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  (469): Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work. http://tfl.nu/vgtk
  Replies (12) Good night (966) Bad night (5049)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.

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  (301): Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort. http://tfl.nu/ivbh
  Replies (71) Good night (19813) Bad night (1941)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.

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  (806): with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible. http://tfl.nu/qot7
  Replies (31) Good night (10167) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.

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  (201): The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20. http://tfl.nu/e9d3
  Replies (10) Good night (4028) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there

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  (512): I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there http://tfl.nu/tess
  Replies (3) Good night (867) Bad night (2249)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.

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  (214): The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship. http://tfl.nu/tn77
  Replies (3) Good night (980) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.

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  (604): I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag. http://tfl.nu/nwen
  Replies (28) Good night (3024) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido

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  (214): I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido http://tfl.nu/vkd6
  Replies (4) Good night (648) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.

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  (913): No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good. http://tfl.nu/ng2e
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (193)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.

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  (251): Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road. http://tfl.nu/x4ff
  Replies (3) Good night (516) Bad night (170)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.

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  (408): We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate. http://tfl.nu/d3a6
  Replies (0) Good night (165) Bad night (330)

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