Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  yea ive hooked up with like half those guys

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag

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  (440): yea ive hooked up with like half those guys (1-440): and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag http://tfl.nu/9hzs
  Replies (33) Good night (6780) Bad night (945)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober

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  (704): I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober http://tfl.nu/te1z
  Replies (29) Good night (3511) Bad night (770)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems

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  (609): i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems http://tfl.nu/8tgm
  Replies (31) Good night (1663) Bad night (4975)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.

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  (319): This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner. http://tfl.nu/r7j7
  Replies (7) Good night (864) Bad night (2989)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive

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  (804): i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive http://tfl.nu/za3r
  Replies (1) Good night (2908) Bad night (1032)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"

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  (906): You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!" http://tfl.nu/38or
  Replies (10) Good night (2610) Bad night (658)
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  (716): View more from New York

  OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.

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  (716): OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night. http://tfl.nu/sz8o
  Replies (9) Good night (1659) Bad night (825)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I have got to meet this girl.

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  (860): she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW (1-860): I have got to meet this girl. http://tfl.nu/ejln
  Replies (7) Good night (2260) Bad night (577)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.

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  (573): I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles. http://tfl.nu/yuyj
  Replies (10) Good night (1912) Bad night (563)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.

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  (612): i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows. http://tfl.nu/9psc
  Replies (6) Good night (1305) Bad night (509)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE

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  (330): I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE http://tfl.nu/air0
  Replies (4) Good night (1372) Bad night (439)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.

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  (970): A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is. http://tfl.nu/20fb
  Replies (2) Good night (1069) Bad night (616)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.

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  (314): Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous. http://tfl.nu/8pll
  Replies (15) Good night (1423) Bad night (523)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?

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  (804): I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day? http://tfl.nu/ul99
  Replies (2) Good night (1238) Bad night (325)
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  (562): View more from California

  I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.

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  (562): I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked. http://tfl.nu/1vom
  Replies (9) Good night (778) Bad night (345)

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