so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.