I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.