good thing vaginas are great cup holders
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
