you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
