Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Sorry about my life...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
