i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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