I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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