she was so not down for the gang bang
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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