Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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