I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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