I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
