Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
