yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
