yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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