I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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