when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
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ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
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The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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