Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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