I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
