jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
