Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize