wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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